“Let your conversations be gracious and effective, so that you will have the right answer for everyone.”

It seems that everyone has someone in their work and life experience that when the other person speaks, it just rubs us the wrong way. No matter how slight the word, it can stir an emotion or cause us to shut down and not listen. I know an executive who has one of those people that they have to work with regularly and no matter what is important that the other person has to say, this executive shuts them down and won’t listen. When challenged on it, the executive says, “I just can’t listen to any of it.” In reality, what the person says tot eh executive is not wrong, but the chemistry is wrong. I’ve seen this many times and I’m not sure what to do about it. I have a couple of people in my life who are this way with me, and I am sure I cause the same reaction in some people too. What I have learned is that it is not what the person is saying or how they are saying it to me that matters. What matters is what and how I say my words back. If I shut down or come back with words that are less than respectful, listening, or gracious then it is me that is at fault, not the other person. While it would be great to have perfect chemistry with everyone, it’s not the real world for that to happen so instead we have to manage ourselves and ensure that we are don’t become the one to fault.

Paul tells us that our conversations should be gracious. Why would he go out of his way to bring this point out? In his line of work, where contention was always present and opposing views was part and parcel for the day, Paul understood the power of a gracious word over one that creates more charge and heat. Since the words that come from our mouths are so important, we can be served well by monitoring and parsing out those words that are not gracious or welcoming. A gracious word goes a long way in having others want to hear what we have to say. Let’s check our words today and replace other words that we might use and see if we can’t add some grace to the conversations.

Reference: Colossians 4:6 (New Living Testament)