“Those who control their tongue will have a long life; a quick retort can ruin everything.”

I was told the story of a CEO who had the chance to meet the Dali Lama and have a private session with him. Each time the CEO would ask a question the Dali Lama would take an abnormally long pauses before he answered or spoke. The CEO said it felt very uncomfortable to just sit there and wait for the responses, so as his time was winding down he asked the Dali Lama why he took so long to answer between each question. After another long pause he answered, “Before I respond I ask myself three questions about what I am about to say, before I speak; ‘Is it kind?’, ‘Is it true?’, and ‘Is it necessary?’. As I listened to this story I was struck by his answer because wouldn’t our work places be so much better if we all were to ask ourselves those three questions before we spoke? We work in the land of the opposite where there is a competition for the first word to be spoken (or written). How much better off would we be if we could step back and not be so impetuous with our speech? I have watched more than one career go on a derailment path because of a word spoken in haste or worse, anger. Trying to put the genie back in the bottle looks easy compared to reeling back in words that didn’t want to be spoken.

In Proverbs we are told the same thing. We are told to control our tongue and to curb the quick retort. One can lead to long life. The other can ruin everything. Today, let’s check our words and learn that there is a power in the pause. We may not have any other way to do it other than to try to ask ourselves the three questions before we speak. But, that’s cool too. Whatever it takes to let our minds and souls catch up with our tongue. Let’s today practice pausing and see what good can happen.

Reference: Proverbs 13:3 (New Living Testament)